PenguinAttack

Hey Dogs, I'll cover your PS first: Her sudden crying is a little bit too quick, I feel like there should be a bit more before it happens. She also ...

Hi Simbatheking! Welcome to the YWS, I hope you enjoy your time here. Don't forget to try reviewing other member's work, doing so will likely afford you more reviews in ...

=Hi Gummie! I just realised how you spell your name and it's excellent. I don't know why this would offend anyone. Maybe you have a meaning here that I am ...

Hey Lette, This is super preachy. Only not religiously preachy. That other weird kind of preachy where you're like "oh lieees oh everyone be careful!" but it's just really... patronising? ...

Hi mihaivisan, So it took me a couple days to get here, but I've read through this. I can't exactly remember what you were looking for in a critique, so ...

Hey Nia, You sneaky posted this and didn't even tell me! "Spines of pines" is so delicious, I want to eat it all up. I don't think decaying is the ...

Hey Maggie, I super like this. I think it is definitely rough, yeah, but it's also just... good. xD But when Cheshire grins are reflected in bowls, The repetition of ...

Hey Knight Nite, I know this is very personal but I'm going to say you'll have to suck it up a bit. I know you already know that, the act ...

Hi Cookiez, It's great to see you posting work so soon after joining! Don't forget that reviewing other peoples work will probably get them to review yours, we're such a ...

Hi Writingwolf! With this first line, I think you need to clarify the mirror a little more before you introduce creation. This is just because while we can create art, ...

Hullo again! Immediately here so we’ll get stuck in, Your first paragraph is whoa descriptive. You can’t do that, mate, smacking us in the face with some real imagery and ...

Hi there! I've read through all of the chapters so far and have come to comment on these most recent chapters of yours, so expect me on number six also! ...

Hey kais! It took me a couple goes to get through this. You have some issues with commas and a couple jumbled words I feel you'll pick up if you ...

Hi there, I like this poem, I like what you're trying so say and I think you're on the right path to saying it well. What is less awesome is ...

Hi Antonio, So I went back and read over all three parts of this to review this part! I like the story you have shaping here, I'm interested to know ...