PenNPaper

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Omigosh, this was like.. so full of romance. I was sad they ended up breaking up, well, not every times a happy ending. So I ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! deathly ones--that only it knew You should put a comma instead of a hyphen there. "Vera! NO!" There shouldn't be a need for the CAPS ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Max Cross was a young stunning young man. You are repeating the word young. Try 'Max Cross was a stunning young man' would sound better. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Mask's eyes were narrowed into a glare as he neared Commander Peak. I think this would sound better if you said 'As he neared Commander ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Well, this story was not bad, though I think you rushed through it, take some time to describe the feelings of the characters and their ...

Hi there, PenNPaper here to review! People talk about it like an everyday thing, saying they understand it. Maybe it would sound better if you said 'People talk about it ...

Hi PenNPaper here to review. “ Welcome May Belle!” I ground You meant groaned, right? “May Bell! O I’m so glad you’re here!” Spelling, please. 'Oh', not just the letter. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review. What the does it take you to understand This really doesn't sound right. Try 'What does it take for you to understand'. I’m saying this ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review. “May Bell, are you OK?” My mother “ Everything will be fine, May Bell. Would her mother really call her by her full name two ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! A nice, and cute story, you gave a totally new reason as to why there are pandas in China. Also, when you have a dialogue, ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review. Love your story soooo much :D Long ago lived a queen, who worshiped her people very much A queen worshipping her people sounds weird, the ...

Hi, it's PenNPaper here. Your story was okay, it wasn't that exciting as it should have been(Sorry if this seems harsh). Erin, a 13 year old girl Info dump, we ...

Hi it's PenNPaper here. Your story was extremely short, try to make it a little longer next time. Okay so it was okay, there's some suspense in the first few ...

Hi, it's PenNPaper here. Most of us are afraid of it, all of us fear it. It sounds as if you are repeating the same sentence here. Maybe you could ...

Hi, it's PenNPaper here. Overall this story was pretty good, there weren't any punctuation or grammatical errors that I spotted. I noticed that you used quite a bit of periods, ...