Pattycakes

Abby stood at the edge of the ocean. The water came up and licked her toes. The wind was blowing, making her blond hair and white skirt blow in the ...

Allright, this is my review of prologue + chapter one. I like the general direction this story is headed in, in places your descriptions and imagination are really well represented ...

Let me see if I can't interject a male perspective into this story. To start off, I have to say you've made a very entertaining and believable world here. I ...

Haha, this is really awesome. It had me laughing a lot, the combination of random humor and political commentary intermingles very well. The internal monologues really bring out the conflict ...

Very nice character study, goes deep into the mind of a lonely pathetic man, excellent physical descriptions of the girl he watches. It could've been all really heavy handed but ...

Haha, this story was really cool in a way that it had its own sort of mythos around it. Very creative, like Greek myth meets 'The Little Engine that Could.' ...

Very cool story. I liked your opening sequence, the character clearly shows conflict with what he's doing and clearly has a past he'd like to forget. The visions thing was ...

You write really good descriptions! Cool way to frame the prospect of not knowing where you are, of feeling sensations without being able to see them. The little twist about ...

To start, I think this is really good, but since you said you were looking for constructive criticism I'll try to focus on that. the tree was pock-marked from human ...

I would like to say that the book in this story is one of the cooler plot devices I've seen in a while. The first time I read the transcription ...

Very cool. Excellent dialouge and back and forths between the troops. The explosion comes as a shock to me when I'm reading as was a nice touch. The commentary that ...

I'm not familiar with the source myth so in all honesty, I can't comment on how different it is from the original but... your telling of it made for a ...

1. Does it continue to be interesting? 2. Anything you, as a reader, did not like or thought took away from the chapter? 1. Yes but with a caveat. I'm ...

Very tense and dark. Your descriptions are very cinematic and you play well with repetitions of heat and cold, and light and dark. The standoff between the two agents was ...

Hey, I really liked this. There was something really raw about the piece and the shifting that I thought worked excellently with the Dylan song you titled it with. Your ...