Panikos

You are absolutely welcome.

Thanks! Two of those things you pointed out were probably products of absent-minded moments, so thanks for notifying me of them. I'm glad you thought it was effective. :)

Phenomenal.

I definitely will. :D

I'm glad to have helped out! I did wonder if Louis' behaviour was due to him knowing Daniel, actually, so I look forwards to finding out more about how they ...

I'm going to come back and review this later, I promise, it's just that I'm at school at the moment and don't yet have time. I loved it though!

Goregeous.

Okay, thank you for the criticism, but what do you mean by 'tacky'? What could I do to improve it?

Thank youu! I do tend to get a little carried away with lengthy sentences, but I'm glad you liked it. :D

I see. I did kind of want it to be very sudden and hard-hitting, because it's almost like the rest of the piece is the character's exterior and then the ...

Aah, thank you! You flatter me! :) Just a quick question, though: is the blatancy towards the end something I should change?

Damn, son, you'd better carry this on! :)

I hope this isn't how you really feel! All writers struggle at some point, and all writers get better if they persevere. I've churned out some pretty shocking writing in ...

You're absolutely welcome. I was glad to help.

:) I don't know what to say.