Panikos

Thank you! I agree, it does need work, but I'm glad that the emotion was there. That's what I wanted to capture the most. :)

It's fine! I just found it quite curious. ;)

Thanks for all the critques! You were very thorough. However, you seem to be of the belief that the narrator is female. Did I not make it clear enough that ...

Yeah, definitely tag me! I'm glad the review helped. It probably is best to change it to England. I'd never know how write a novel in an American setting; there's ...

Thank you! :D

Thanks! I'll try and do that. :)

I'm just saying that people are going to feel put off. Jeez.

Thank you!

It's just friendly advice, mate. You'll be hard pushed to find someone willing to review your work if it takes ages to read. I'd be happy to do one if ...

Crikey! I'm not here to review but I'd seriously suggest that you split this chapter up into two parts, because it'll take a long time for a reviewer to plough ...

Thank you! :)

Thank you! Really, thank you! :D

Okay, I do have to agree. Not my best. :/

Thank you! I'll work on those nitpicks. :)

Thank you!