Nutty

Johnny cake! I finished the outsiders. You're right. It's the best book I've read in a long time. Anyway, your story.... Haha, Olli is cool. And Derek has anger issues ...

Firstly, I have only read Eragon, and half of Eldest. I got bored and it is in my locker still, so I cant comment on whether the last one is ...

The first spoiler in the post above wasn't done as nicely as I would have liked. It came out of nowhere. Sure I knew it was probably going to happen ...

Woah, interesting. It took me a minute to realize what you were referring to, but once I clicked, it was very effective. Anyway, there's not much I can comment on. ...

The weirdest thing was he was full awake, not one hint of sleep left. Full awake seems awkward. Fully awake? Completely awake? Wide awake? Alert? There was nothing that he ...

I'm not great at essays, but I'll take a look :p No daughter should be angry towards her Pa and be abused. I would use father. Essays are formal, and ...

Hey! (and sadly species only "look" at the same species) ... Sorry, this confused me. She said she was the only human, but species only look at the members of ...

Heya! ^^ That was all I could think of lying on my back on the cold floor. Hmm. The sentence before was strong, which is good, but this seems... awkward, ...

As I crawled through the ever-decreasing chasm Huh? ever decreasing chasm? .... what does that mean? The numb feeling came from my fear of losing him then, rather than the ...

back like a cobra’s hood and hooded eyes. Hood and hooded are two very similar words, used close together. Try changing one of them, or rearranging. became a lady with ...

:smt046 :smt043 brilliant. I should have started raiding your portfolio long ago. :p

Woah, this was good. Extremely good. I can't see any typos, and your structure is great. I have to find something to actually crit on, now 0.o Interesting start to ...

Okay, it seems the nit picking has been done for me, so I'll just look at the content, eh? The biginning was good, she truely seems scared and intimidated, which ...

Yay! Very much improved. Though you seem to have a mixture of formal and informal words in your writing. I'm not talking about the dialogue, that's normal, but such as ...

Hmm, I beg to differ from Andy's comments. How would I four year old know the law? And I found his actions to be actually beyond his years, not stupid ...