NekomimiChan

I love your writing style with a passion. Your main character is on point and his friend as well. I can easily guess the age group. The setting is explained ...

Okay hmm. You need a better hook. For the first paragraph, it is very repetitive and lacks feeling from each of the senses other than "touch." The male character seems ...

This is ridiculously short. You don't have much of a hook and I really don't know the main character or any information about anything that's happening other than the setting. ...