Nate

This is awesome Flemzo. Truly awesome. Thank you for providing me with something good to read :P My only critique is the last line of the third stanza; it doesn't ...

It's evident to me you didn't spend much time on this. Why? Because you misspelled "once." When you have a poem as short as this, there's no real excuse for ...

In the future, please remember to rate your stories. This needed a rating of R for the sexual situation, and if a story is going to be rated R, then ...

Aye, if you're going to just put up a quick scene, you do need to add a quick note about that. Without knowing what the rest of the story involves, ...

If you want to develop this story further (or a similar story), I highly suggest "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. It's an excellent book on the same sort of subject; ...

You mean veni, not vendi. The actual translation for what you wrote would be, "I sold, I saw, I conquered." As Jack already pointed out, you need to research this ...

Hey Medusa, when posting a story or poem on YWS, if it has profanity, then it must be rated R. To read more about ratings on YWS, please see this:

Icaruss ->> Please rate such works as 'R' in the future. A YWS R is not a movie R. For an explanation, see:

It's good, but a wait of several months just for this? There were only two sections that caught me: "Light pulsed from the engines of the SPEW Gryphon II. Over ...

I see what you're trying to do with the beat, and I think for the most part you got it right. However, you got that part right at the expense ...

Runawaythoughts ->> Lots of oddball stuff gets posted here; it's part of what makes the Young Writers Society such a unique site. The YWS administration and staff asks nothing more ...

I liked this. I thought it was a camera and I'm glad I'm not the only one. Unfortunately, there are a lot of limitations when posting on the web, but ...

Aye, you do need some serious editing! Firstly, this ain't long. Read a few other stories around here, and you'll find the yours is actually short ;) Grammar... Their vs. ...

Interesting, Joe... Interesting First a couple of things: "The wrangling went bad that night, and I dealt with the brunt of it." I think you mean 'Wrangler' instead of 'wrangling'? ...

I liked this as it touches on a couple of different themes. I imagined this being set in Yugoslavia or a Soviet Republic back in the 1980s, or at least ...