All Clear

It's evident to me you didn't spend much time on this. Why? Because you misspelled "once."

When you have a poem as short as this, there's no real excuse for misspelling a word (especially a word as simple as once). Just one quick proofread would catch it, and then you won't have people like me thinking: why should I take the time to write a review? After all, the time spent writing the review will probably be longer than the time the author spent writing the poem.

So, please proofread so you don't get jerks like me saying that

Anyhow, the first three lines are good. The third line, though, comes off as sounding fragmented. I think the reason for this is you stretched it out just so that the last syllable rhymed with the two prior lines. So be very careful with rhyming as it often means you have to sacrifice substance over form.

The last three lines come off as sounding like an entirely different poem, and I think you could partially solve that by just making it a new stanza. You also have to look out for grammatical errors again. "Nothings" should be "Nothing's" and "i" should be capitalized. I do realize that the choice of a lower-case "i" was probably a deliberate decision on your part, but I strongly recommend against it. When you're writing anything, you want to draw the reader into your work. When you make a deliberate break with grammatical rules, the reader notices that right away and it draws them out of the world you created. As a result, the reader is interrupted, and you don't want the reader to be interrupted.

I liked this poem quite a bit. I think it has the potenial to be a great poem if you extended it more. The emotions need to be fleshed out a little more. And at some points the rhythm of the poem was a little off the mark for example

and told us, those who made it here
that very soon we will hold oce more those who we held dear.
Yet nothings clear to me