Nate

Heh, I liked this. Reminds me a bit of Animal Farm, but with lesser animals. The character of Ali seemed pretty well thought out, and I thought it was even ...

It's a very interesting story and the concept is fairly novel. I thought the dialogue was written well, and the character descriptions were well done as well. Overall, a good ...

If you want to work on this, you need to spend a lot more time on it. I'm just going to address a few points, but you need to proofread ...

Hey there, I noticed you have no reviews, but I also noticed you have only done one review this year, and that was in August. If you expect reviews, then ...

Hey Emmy and welcome to YWS. I know you just joined, but you should spend some time reviewing other works as well. After all, you can't expect to get reviews ...

Just to point out to other people, Chevy is a former mod and (if I remember correctly) the first ever featured member (as GuitarsandCars77!). She's also a song artist with ...

Just a quick note. Evi ->> You should read Writing Gooder! Punctuation can go inside or outside quotation marks. What smorgishborg did is perfectly fine.

It's a shame this doesn't have more comments. I thought it was well-written and interesting to read. I haven't read the other chapters, but this chapter could easily stand as ...

It's an interesting story and I hope you continue it. However, you need to proofread before submitting your work. For example: We surest an all out assault on the Vorog ...

Firstly, please rate your work. You didn't assign this work a rating, and it needed a rating of (at the very least) 16+. I gave it an 18+ rating due ...

Happiness ran from me like a young woman from a stranger in a dark alley. Woah, interesting simile, but I'm not sure I like it. In the paragraph, you talk ...

I haven't read the other chapters, but it sounds like the rebel leader gave up way too quickly. In doing so, he sounds more of a weakling than anything else. ...

Hey there JediRex! I haven't read the other chapters, but the story is interesting and I hope you continue it. There are two things you need to work on. The ...

Way too many ellipses. Those are the '...' you repeat over and over. If you are going to use an ellipsis, then use it sparingly and rarely. Otherwise, it just ...

Great poem! I liked it a lot, and I also wanted to thank you for having a 3:1 review to work ratio :) In any case, as I said, this ...