Nate

Ten year olds walking around like that? That's more than a bit odd. In any case, you posted this in Non-fiction so I'll critique it. This is an article, so ...

Interesting plot ending; very Twilight Zone esque. However, at the moment, the story needs a lot of polishing. As Kyllorac pointed out, there are a lot grammar mistakes. And as ...

I think Evi and Lauren caught most of the story-telling and grammar snafus, so I'm going to concentrate mostly on the sci-fi aspect of it. The Setting The year for ...

Haha, interesting concept indeed, although it reminds me of a true story some years back. There was a young boy (about 8 or 9) who was diagnosed with cancer, but ...

This was generally well-written; it definitely seems like you've proofread it at least once or twice. Just a couple odd things I wanted to point out. Something drew her toward ...

I haven't read the rest, so I'll be concentrating mostly on the grammar. However, this is really, really short. If each part is this short, then why don't you just ...

Vox, how much do you care about this story? From reading it, I get the impression you don't care very much about it; there's a lot of spelling errors that ...

Heh, the soothing medicine of Pink Floyd. Kurt looked down and the planet rushed up to meet him. An impassable gulf separated him from his friend, one of terrible textures ...

Getting reviews on scripts is tough. It's even tougher when it gets posted in parts. What I'd suggest is that when you're done, post the whole thing in the Advanced ...

Inspirational. I think my favorite part was this paragraph: He looked at the sea, his eyes lifeless, and thought about his story. His story... it was too painful to tell. ...

Hmm... do I critique this? ;) It's funny, but it needs more context. I actually see this as fitting in really well in a larger story with pot-smoking hippies. Kind ...

I think an explaining note of why you wrote this and what it means to you would help a lot. Often times, lyrics don't make sense without some context and ...

This was very refreshing to read. The style and the tone of the work remind me a lot of Jack London. It's a very idiosyncratic style written in simple words ...

One of the things you have to decide when beginning to write a story is whether to go the novel route or the short story route. You chose the former, ...

You need to proofread this some more. There's a couple of punctuation errors here and there that'd be easily caught; just stuff like forgetting an ending quotation mark and forgetting ...