Published January 26, 2010
When I woke up the next morning, Zach was gone. My bathroom door was locked and shower was running, "Hey Zach, you in there?" I called, tapping my knuckles lightly on the door. A muffled yes was heard from the other side.
I unzipped one of my bags and pulled out a denim mini skirt and a baby blue tube-top, before closing it and opening another bag to get the rest of the things I needed to get ready for the day. Not to long after I finished, Zach came out wearing a pair of baggie pants, that he left the last time he stayed the night, and a black shirt (which he also left here.) "Sleep well?" He asked, giving a soft peek on the cheek.
"Yeah I did." I replied, a bit surprised by the fact. We both finished getting ready when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." Said Zach walking out of my room. A minute later my best friends came strolling in.
"Wow, your room...it's so empty." Clair annouced, talking in her surroundings, a dumbfounded look on her face.
Kate whipped a tear away from her eye, "Do you really have to go?"
I smiled warmly and hugged her, "This isn't goodbye Kate." I reassured her, "I'll still see you guys soon, promise." Just then a car let out an irritated honk from outside. Zoey brushed back the blinds to peer outside, "Yo Ari, I think your rides here."
Sure enough there sat a bright yellow taxi in my drive way. "Oh joy!" I squeeled, rolling my eyes and dragging my bags out to the cab, my friends close behind. "Bye guys." I said giving them all a hug.
"Be safe and don't forget to call." Reminded Zach, kissing me before I got in and shut the door. The cab raced off toward the airport and away from my friends.
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139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Awwww another sad chapter, you write a lot of those don't you? Anyways wow wow woooooowwwwwww. I know it's sad for me to say, but you know that if this was real life Zach would have gotten shitty and dumped Ariel right then and there. Sorry, but guys are jerks where I live so I find it unbelievable that he would try to stay with her now that she has to go to a school so far away, and also where other guys their ago live. But I have to say that I think Clair is funny as hell, she is such a dumb blond. LOL. Another sad face is that IT IS SO FLIPPEN SHORT... GIRRRRRRR YOU GOTHICBUTTERFLY!!!!!! LOL.
One of the things you have to decide when beginning to write a story is whether to go the novel route or the short story route. You chose the former, but this chapter isn't nearly long enough to be called a chapter. It's really not even a short story. It's flash fiction. So what you should do is instead of posting your story in chapter format, just post it altogether. There's no reason to do it the way you're doing. In fact, by posting it chapter by chapter, you're getting less reviews.
That said, this is decent flash fiction. You have a good writing style that will only get more polished the more you write. For now, all I suggest is just proofreading more. You capitalized the word 'Morning' in the first sentence, and you have Clair saying "Wow you room". All of these grammar mistakes are stuff you already know how to fix, so just spend some time polishing your work.