Munchkinzizzles

Cool! I can already tell that this contest is a toughie!

Yuriiko: I'm actually planning on expanding it now, so maybe that will help readers really connect with the characters. I'm not really used to short stories, so this was somewhat ...

Anyone? Please?

Three posts in a row? I need to get over my stories. Chapter 4: The Call and the Story The telephone rings enthusiastically from the kitchen counter. I get up ...

Oh, and I just really liked the name Jayden. Idk why. Perhaps I should change it?

I can already guess that Jayden and EJ are gonna end up together. Ahahahahahaha! Perhaps you are wrong, my friend! :) Jk. :) But I'm not sure that's where I'm ...

I was planning on making him not a real emo sorta guy. He's just putting up walls and he thinks a rough appearance and cut wrists will help him be ...

Were there any real grammatical errors? Or things that you would change? I noticed one time where I said "asked" instead of "ask." My story is in the present tense. ...

The story will get more interesting! I promise! :) Right now, we're sort of building up our characters a bit, but in chapter six, things will happen. Conflict will arise!

Hello.

I'll post the edited version soon!

I'll edit this one soon. Sorry it's taken me this long. :(

Here is the revised version! Chapter 1: The Evening Gathering Here I stand, his eyes afire, his tongue ablaze, his hands alight. And only over a simple mistake. “Shut up!” ...

Please?

Anyone other than Treem? Really, people? Is it THAT bad?