Mr.Knightley

Hi, Kate! I kind of get where you're going with this, but I'm not sure if the narrator is talking about him/herself or about someone else. You start off making ...

I agree with Moriah and Empress. There could be a little more detail in your descriptions of those emotions. Also, it might help to split up your poem into stanzas, ...

I like the way this poem has an organized chaos about it. It's refreshing to read something whimsical like this. I don't think it's a problem that you seem to ...

I like the story behind this! It reminds me of my own town, too, just like Conrad, though for different reasons. My town (of about 4,000) is about 99% white, ...

I agree with Empress! Obama is awesome, and it's a great idea using him in a poem like this. He's a great man and a better leader! :) However, the ...

Hey there Serena! I loved reading acrostic poems, and this one is no exception. I agree that using a name as a base is something that works better when you ...

Hi there! I'm not quite sure what to make of this poem. It's not poorly written, actually very well written, but I can't tell if this is supposed to be ...

This seemed a little strange to me, but I think that might have been your goal. ;) It certainly doesn't read like a normal poem, that's for sure. :lol: That ...

Hi Roxanne! you have a great poem here! It tells a very sad story without being self-absorbed or whiny, and that's always a good thing. ;) The only suggestion I ...

I think this is an incredible first poem, Xirenia! Don't ever doubt your own talent! Your vocabulary is very distinct and flowing, and the splits in between stanzas are well ...

This was awesome! I loved the idea behind it. You told a story that was sad and hopeful at the same time. Hm... I don't think there's anything I can ...

I think you have a good start here, LoVeLeSs, but there are a few things that caught my eye. I'm left wondering why the narrator is saying these things. Why ...

So the first thing I noticed about this poem is that, after the first two lines, you kind of lost me. Your opening sort of half-grabbed my attention, but then ...

So, I mostly liked this poem. Your contrasts are enjoyable, and it flows smoothly, for the most part. The only thing I thought was strange for me was the very ...

Lava, this was so hilarious! I loved how you described the evil teacher, and how it flowed from line to line. It reminds me of a teacher I had in ...