Published November 8, 2009
Writing
A letter
Could love
A song
Could experience
A story
Could expand
A pencil
Could be a weapon
A pen
Could be a caress
Writing is powerful
Writing is influential
Writing is great
If you where ever told that
You needed guns in a war
Then you are wrong
You can fight a war
With pen and paper
Love and hate
Trust and betrayal
Power and greed
Are pieces of writing
In a song
In a letter
In a story
Letters on page
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,404 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
I agree with Moriah and Empress. There could be a little more detail in your descriptions of those emotions. Also, it might help to split up your poem into stanzas, that way the reader gets a chance to breathe (like Mia said: Asphyxiation= BAD).
But the idea behind this is solid, and it's something most of us will relate to! Nice work. 
I agree that instead of giving us a laundry list of traits, you should try instead to personify those things with simile, metaphor, and personification. Or at least throw images at us. You're telling us about the persuasive power of writing without persuading us, or showing us your literary power.
It was a great idea for writing-- I just think it could be shown better.
I totally agree with you about the power of writing. I think the idea behind this poem is solid, I just felt like it came across more as an argument as to why writing is so great rather than a personal expression. If you feel as strongly as I do about writing, I'd love for you to put more emotion into this poem.
Love and hate/Trust and betrayal/Power and greed.
These are all very powerful emotions that can easily be expanded upon.
Hi Channon!
I love how you wrote this piece!
It's lovely, it's different, it has a very fresh expression as well.
But I'm hoping, as Mia already stated, that you will put some punctuation in.
It makes the reader think a bit when trying to dechipher which sections to piece together, and confuses them a bit when there isn't anything to separate the stanzas when there aren't any prominent spaces.
But dear, it's a job well done!
:Rachel
OK!
Hi, I'm Mia, welcome to YWS!
OK, so your poem is quite good. However, it could do with punctuation at the end of each line. All poetry needs this, as it gives your reader a chance to breathe (stopping them asphyxiating is good)
Apart from that, I noticed straight away that in the title the word "Writing" is spelt wrong - see how I spelt it - and also the word "talking" - again see my spelling.
Apart from that, a pretty good job!
Keep writing!
Mia x