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Re: Before I Die
Hi there! A nice, neat poem. Really detailed descriptions with a great choice of words. But it's a little ironic and confusing how you loved him so much but you ...
Dec 25, 2011 -
Re: Tears of This Tiger
Wow...really strong poem. Well, I'd expect nothing less when the title reads "Tears of This Tiger" :) I love the title, by the way, really great use of alliteration. Your ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Symptoms of Bullies' Croup
I like the idea but you could maybe elaborate more on the idea of bullying instead of spinning more and more horrible punishments for the bully. But maybe you just ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Don't Think
Nice, though I can't quite understand much of it. It's about watching your child grow up, right? Don’t think That her spark will kindle nothing. Now She looks up at ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Frisson
I really love it! I've felt it before and yours is the best description I've ever seen! Thinking back, I feel really happy now. And you know what? I'm reading ...
Dec 7, 2011 -
Re: for you
Wow....this is really great. really deep. Though I can't understand some parts of it. as two finite masks, printed over porcelain This is my favourite line. :) it's such a ...
Dec 6, 2011 -
Re: Oh What A Pretty Smile
I really agree and I really love it. This is such a common phenomena but no one has ever described it better than you. Oh what a pretty smile on ...
Dec 6, 2011 -
Re: You know you love him.
Hey! Nice poem. Although the structure is a little inconsistent and I don't know, weird, it's a really good idea. But maybe the structure is your style and it's really ...
Nov 28, 2011 -
Re: I Can't Write
Very nice. I like the "Tap.Tap.Tap"s, it stays in my head. :) A really good idea that no one would have thought of because its like writing about not being ...
Nov 25, 2011 -
Re: when a boy loves a ghost Chapter 1
Ok, the grammar is a little off at parts and you need to diversify your sentence structure but on the whole, it was a great story. Very engaging. Also, short ...
Nov 25, 2011 -
Re: You Will Never Know
I loved it! :) It's really nice, good flow and vocabulary and it was easy to understand. Really makes the reader empathize with the speaker. At the end of a ...
Nov 22, 2011 -
Re: The Night walker
Beautiful piece. Very detailed descriptions. You could work more on the rhythm and flow of the poem. I like the unique structure. :) The sacrifice of you may be worthwhile ...
Nov 22, 2011 -
Re: Atmospheric Soup
Really clever of you to use soup as a metaphor to describe the universe in Space. :) It's poetically fancy and quirky at the same time but yet it flows ...
Nov 20, 2011 -
Re: Lost at Sea
The word choice is really precise and great. Beautiful poem. Totally love it. A single flickering flame casts screaming shadows from my past. This is my favourite line. A very ...
Nov 19, 2011 -
Re: Never Been Loved
Ok, nice poem, easy to understand. You might wanna use more poetic devices like metaphors or similies, imagery. The idea was there though, and as you write more and more ...
Nov 19, 2011
