MidnightVampire

This is a good poem. Few things though: 1. use caps instead of all caps. people tend to get distracted by them 2.When the lines are 'Well I say you ...

I loved this. Loved it loved it loved. You got me hooked after you said 'and we watched as the first bomb dropped.' I also like how it took the ...

:shock: Space out your paragraphs. I started reading it, trying to ignore it, but then there was the punctuation. If you fix these things, then I will begin to critique ...

It’s Saturday. On Saturday me and the girls go shopping in the city. This sentence is a little bit...chopy I guess. Maybe combine the sentence so instead of what it ...

I liked this, it gave a really good message about how everyone wants to be someone else, and how they should think... and yeah, I think you get my point. ...

I agree. It would be cool if you added some of those extra stuff *look at Snoink's message* because to me, I didn't get much of a feeling out of ...

My father carried me up the stairs in his bulky arms shushing me softly, telling me it’s alright and that there is nothing to worry about. My whole body burned ...

I agree, the poem wasn't too bad. I didn't know about the rhyming, it was there, and then it wasn't. Usually, this sorta thing wouldn't bug me, but the way ...

You remind me of how my dad rhymes! *that brought me happiness on its own* I liked this poem, kinda peaceful, imagery was nice, even though you didn't describe much ...

I think this is original, I liked the stuttering, that's something I can imagine someone doing in these circomstances. I only have one thing that sorta bugged me... and your ...

Wow. That was good, when I was reading I was sorta in a trance. The ending was perfect, dramatic (I do like dramaticness, if its not over done). I agree ...

I think this is interesting. In a good way. It seems like something that would be in part of a bigger story. You know, one of the ones that are ...

I'm sorry... this will sound really rude... so I apologize in advance. I didn't really get it. But that may just be me.I'm not saying it isn't bad or anything, ...

You know how to creep me out Lady Kyra. Really really creep me out. You are probably reading this and wondering 'why the heck does it creep her out?'. You'll ...

It was definetly interesting, and a little creepy (I shouldn't be talking, I wrote a poem about the world ending...). that's ok though, it was good. The rhyming did flow, ...