Published April 6, 2008
What do you do when someone you love is so unaware of the pain they cause?
So you say you’re fat??
Well I say your skinny.
So you say you don’t have a problem??
Well I say you do.
You say you’re fine but yet you go and pass out.
You then confess you have a problem but you don’t need help.
Well I say you do.
You say you’re getting better??
Well I say you’re getting worse.
You tell me not to say anything.
Well what am I supposed to do??
Watch you die.
No way.
We WILL fix this.
You’re not the only one.
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I am a fan of the repetitive nature of your poem. I often use repetitive phrases in order to emphasize. It also gives the poem a type of rhythm. Also, it leaves room for adaptation. This seems like it could be a song because of the repetition. Anorexia is a tough disease. It is something you never really escape. Even when you run away from it for a while, it seems to always catch up to you. My sister is anorexic and bulimic. What people don't understand is that even if it doesn't look like you are, it could still be harming you mentally just as much. Anyway, I really like your poem. Your determination is an inspiration and it is great to see that you care enough to help. Many times, people get fed up with people like your friend and people like me and they turn away. It is good to see that you are anxious to help. Keep helping. Did she read this poem? Maybe it will wake her up a little bit.
*Moved to Dramatic Poetry*
I can relate to anything related to anorexia, my best friend is suffering from it and this is exactly what I tell her every day. Shes so thin she looks like she could break, but she looks in the mirror and all she sees is fat. Its heartbreaking. But I also really udnerstand what she is going through
That is all.
Meevs
x
This is a good poem. Few things though:
1. use caps instead of all caps. people tend to get distracted by them
2.When the lines are
'Well I say you do.'
'Well I say your gettting worse.' and those lines. They all start with 'Well.'. Have a little variation. Maybe, instead -and this is just a suggestiong- when it says
'You think your getting better??
Well I say your getting worse.'
Maybe try this instead:
'You think your getting better??
I think your getting worse.'
I think this might go a little better and have more variation(but I'm stil not the best at poetry).
~MV
P.S.- You must really care for your friend.