MidnightVampire

First of all, I'd like to welcome you to YWS. So: Welcome to YWS! I see that your a new member (which I guess is obvious because I just said ...

to take a sparrow, to fly a leaf, (I agree with the 'takikng control of life, idea of this,) to live a life in disbelief I love the begining... It ...

First of all, I would like to say that I love it so far. When I was on the front page of YWS, I thought I would just read it, ...

wow. I'm really sorry for what happened, you seem to care a lot (though it would be hard not to). the first line in the second stanza seems a little ...

First of all, I would like to warn you ahead of time, that this really isn't the best critique, because I just came back to this site and I'm trying ...

Alright, at first I was all, " Ack! It rhymes! Run away, run away! " * I seem to be afraid of rhymeing. * I loved this. *I would give ...

Again with all this, "yeah, it's great." and "keep it up"s I'll give you a critique,but I don't have that much time. “This cruise ship is so amazing !” the ...

Man, I love this, though it may have taken you time to put that idea onto paper, it was a pretty good idea. Definitely keep going, whatever you do DON'T ...

Ok, first of all, welcome to YWS! I'm MidnightVampire. Here are a few errors that happened a lot: 1. The tenses jump around, in one sentence it said:Sam run as ...

Before I'm going to say anything, I would like to say (or shout) PUNCTUATION. ok there, I am done. I know some books (I only know one) does not have ...

Mr Frigid made sure that no one else was in the room. “Yes I have done it, I made the first ever working time machine!” he shouted. “Oh, I think ...

I'm editing this at 9, so if I miss anything, then I'm sorry. “What‘s the note?” Ellie asked. “Oh yeah can you put this in Cassius‘ locker?” Alastrona asked giving ...

Everyone basically beat me to critiquing your story, so I can't really critique much. Few things: Show, try not to tell to much. Use description,it makes everything more interesting. I ...

"The first day of school." I said quietly to myself with a sense of dread . My name is Louis Nightshine. I'm your typical 13 year old eighth grade student ...

l liked the idea. I know that you know I'm not the best at poetry, but here are a few tips: 1. Metaphores! *may be spelled wrong, i'm sick and ...