Midnight

I didnt mean bitter in an offensive way...anger is a better word

It was a good poem but somehow I can't really emphasise with the feeling behind it at the moment. Maybe I should read it again when I feel more bitter.

EXPERimentation with diatribe ey?

mmm this was yummy.

Yeah I have to agree. It feels like the skeleton of a story, a solid good interesting skeleton but still the bare bones. If you flesh it out I think ...

Well when you know PM me I'd love to see how this develops.

I think I'd change this 8 and 9 and the last line are all very clumsy because I repeat the word moved three times in the original Here's the change... ...

Interesting, although all the African Americans were first brought there as slaves so........ Indian is a lot worse then Native American because they themselves never came from India.

I would be constructively critical, but I dislike it because I hate the subject matter. So I can't give you anything useful on this sorry. It's not a bad technique ...

Thanks...(go off to find your work, but first must enetertain my sister's japanese exchange) :P

god this only got two comments, really should write something new. Anyway if you ever come back Chevy tips are always welcome.

It was sad. I dunno I liked it and the imagery and the situation and 'sigh' yes I liked this one.

I think a lot of great poetry has been written on opium (Coleridge for example) but I'm not sure if drunken poetry is such a great thing. This was ok ...

Damnit my Avator won't change even though I've brought stuff. Anyway this was very very pretty. I loved the feeling I got from this poem, somehow it felt warm and ...

IT's very pretty and I liked the sound but I don't think I understood it. The dream sentence at the beggining was particularily pretty '(dream of spanish prima donnas―the scent ...