MiaParamore

Hi, :D Here to review your work again. I hope this helps.Your chapters are too short and even when the cahpter 2 is complete, reader has less idea about the ...

Hi Kaywiia, It was a nice story and you could call it a prologue for it serves that purpose should go more in detail about world depression .Some mistakes have ...

Hi Ahuha, WELCOME TO YWS !!!!!!!! :D I like your passion for writing. Even though Lena is right that you are too young to be a member of this site ...

Hi twiight12, So honestly speaking it was too long and boring.Your concept is nice but you don't know how to make it interesting for the readers. Everything happents too quickly. ...

He Lena, It is such a beautiful story. i wanted to cry just like TheNewHero wanted to.I couldn't find any flaws and your idea of writing things of past in ...

Oh my god. What a wonderful story , Yuriko.The story was nice but your grammar and spellings need some help.You should probably try and read this again and find your ...

Hi Everyone else has already given their comments on your grammar so I won't focus more on thta.Your writing style is unique and impressive.But why the hell soldiers didn't have ...

Hi Cuco, I am sorry I didn't get the story much and I think you really need to work on your grammar and spellings.I know you are just eleven year ...

Hi Lydia, Your prologue was like an was short and well-described.I disagree with cooc that your experiment with different types of fonts and sizes with the word'run' look over-dramatic but ...

Sorry about the messed up paragraphs! Haha just ignore them, I had to type the whole thing on my iPod. You can just now edit them on your PC or ...

Hi, So finally after lot of PM-ing I have managed to go through your story.I must say that the story plot is really interesting but somewhere I found your writing ...

Hi EmmiAnne, :elephant: This was a very neat short piece I think.The story seems nice, a little bit similar to New Moon(sorry for that) but worth continuing.I would really like ...

hi As I said earlier i like your way of writing and now youv'e become my favourite.Keep on going.Only one mistake: "Mei!” Obviously, Lord Da Quian had awaken." I found ...

Hi munchkin.. Your story is awesome and I appreciate your honesty in telling about your source of inspiration.You narrate it simply,it like comes naturally and I am still able to ...

Hi Sorry to say but I didn't quite like the story and the way you narrated it.The punctuation marks like full stops are missing somewhere.The story is good but you ...