Hello. I am really stumped as to which idea to carry on with at the moment out of the numerous prologues I seem to be writing. This is another, if your wondering about the formatting it is going to play a big part in the writing, my characters thoughts etc. all of that will be formatted differently. Here goes. Critiques gratefully accepted.
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Little is known about what happens after death.
People have guessed, but few have got it right.
Heaven?
Hell?
Or is it truly the end?
I know what happens.
I haven’t guessed.
I haven’t made assumptions.
I know the facts.
And it’s going to get me killed. I am on the run. I cannot be found, not by anyone. I can never see my family again, nor my friends. I am cut off from the world, because I know the truth. The Death Whisperers are coming, and once they find me, I will die. All I can do is run. My feet and the ground beneath them are my entire world now.
Run
Run
Run.
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139,487 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm...well this is certainly quite the prologue here. It seems to be one of the rarer occasions where we have something that is certainly quite a bit on the shorter side of the spectrum, but surprisingly has enough happening in it that it does its job as a prologue really quite well despite..and that honestly does not happen all that often.
Moving past that and diving into the actual content here, we've got some very intriguing possibilities being hinted at right from the very beginning. I really liked the structure of that opening with the mention of death and asking that question of the readers so that as readers we mentally sort of get into the perfect kind of frame of mind to get into something of this sort.
The transition from those questions into the simple idea of needing to run makes this into a very powerful piece I think since it really throws you as the reader almost into the action ourselves and that on the whole ends up creating a very powerful opening bit here. Overall, this is a very solid prologue that you've got right here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hi Lydia,
Your prologue was like an adhesive.it was short and well-described.I disagree with cooc that your experiment with different types of fonts and sizes with the word'run' look over-dramatic but quite creative and creates a lot of excitement.Keep on continuing and Pm me when you write another chapter.
Hi Lydia
Wow, that's a good prologue. I like the way the prologue gets me hooked without giving away to much of the story.
If/when you post more can you pm me?
Thanks
midnightread
Thanks Coco. I am still unsure where this is going to leave, I need to do a plot line or something. But thanks for the review. I might cut out the repetition of run, but it was just an experiment to see what people thought
Thank You
Hi Lydia! I'm not the best critique but I'll try my hardest! [takes a deep breath] You certainly built up tension well, I think the short sentences were a good idea, it gives the story pace which connects to your character seeing as he/she is on the run. However, I personally didn't like the end, your repetition of run in different font sizes, I thought it was a bit over-dramatic (or maybe it's just me
)
Anyway, I like the idea behind it, it's quite original and interesting. All in all I think if you plan this out correctly, build some solid like-able characters and a really interesting plot line, you'll have a great story on your hands.
There you have it, my review, lol, hope it was helpful in some way. Best of luck for the story!
*coco