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Re: ...
I'm not going to talk about grammar or spelling, just the writing itself. First of all, you have fantastic imagery, and great word choice. Just remember to not overuse adjectives ...
Mar 7, 2010 -
Re: Heartbeat (2nd part of ch.1)
I thought it was pretty good, or at least better than the first part. There are still quite a few mistakes, though. “What happened to your neck?” was the first ...
Jun 8, 2008 -
Re: 'Veggies'
Great writing! Definitely worth a star! I didn't notice any mistakes in it either. I normally don't like non-fiction, but this was really good. Oh I know, I know! Pick ...
Jun 8, 2008 -
Re: winter time
That was pretty good. I didn't especially like your rhyming choices, but that can be really hard to do sometimes. I really liked your repetition at the end, but it ...
Jun 8, 2008 -
Re: Heartbeat (1st part of ch.1)
I liked it quite a bit. :) It had pretty good detail, and the first person perspective added personality to the character. I especially liked the ending, because it adds ...
Jun 7, 2008 -
Re: The writings of Sonlen Evandar Xiulta
That's really long. You might want to break it up into to parts if you want people to read it all. I just skimmed the first part of it. It's ...
Jun 7, 2008 -
Re: My problem with poetry
I thought that it was pretty good. It had a definite rhythm to it, which can be hard to do well. I liked your word choice especially, but the rhymes ...
Jun 7, 2008 -
Re: In the shadow of a star - chapter one
Pretty good writing, but there are a few grammatical errors. The serpentine movement of the fluid that made it’s migration south was all that she could think on. its instead ...
Jun 6, 2008 -
Re: What If...?
I thought that it was really good. It isn't poetry in the way that most people think of it, but there's nothing wrong with that. Personally, I like your use ...
Jun 6, 2008 -
Re: Fire
OK, it wasn't exactly bad, but it wasn't [s]good[/s] average either. It really had almost nothing to do with fire either. And I'm not saying I don't like pie, but ...
Jun 6, 2008 -
Re: Bearer of the Rubyarc -- Prologue
Nice Writing! I especially liked all of the descriptions. Your dialog seemed natural, and it reflected the conflict. There were just a few minor things that could be changed. He ...
Jun 6, 2008 -
Re: Nevermind
Nice work. I liked your use of discriptive language, which made it easy to visualize the setting, but at times the plot at times was a bit confusing. One thing ...
Jun 5, 2008 -
Re: Of life and death.
Excellent work :D ! The 1st person perspective really adds personality to the character. You accurately portrayed potential thoughts and feelings of a person in a similar situation. Though the ...
Jun 5, 2008
