MaryEvans

Aaahm. So let me get this straight. You're not here to actually review but to get points? That's kind of exploiting the system. Not nice dude.

It's a chapter. Read the previous chapters and all will be made clear. (: Also an advice on reviewing, rather than copying the entirety of my text you can use ...

"Spoilers: Please don't review this. " Then don't post it here, because it won't leave the green room until it receives at least 2 reviews.

Still be sure to give at least a subtle answer to when, who, how, why, what and where. (Just as important in fiction as they are in journalism). Again you ...

It's ok. There's always time to revise later.

I used to have a rather elaborate description of the room (have some in the previous part) but cut out most in this version because they tended to drag. Will ...

It's needed but not here and not now. The trick is to convey it without stating it, in a show don't tell manner so to say. Here are a few ...

Ah. Welp, poor castle. And yeah a little bit over the top.

Sounds good. Well done with the folders too, everything it much more clear now.

No dude, the entire chapter is 5k words, it's too much, people barelly read this much, and the whole thing... yeah. I will still keep it in mind, and if ...

It's not balanced because it's only half of the original. And since you already complain about lenght you can see why I cut it. So there's nothing much that can ...

Its chapter four. :) And if you read the previous 3 all of your questions are answered. Anyhow, thanks for the review.

Sentence structure is much better. A few typos here and there though, happens when you rewrite, just have it in mind next time you revise. (Also transitions, look over your ...

All nice and well, but I think this would have been more fitting in the forums.

You shouldnt really sporadically write in different POVs. Either stick to one or make sure the divides are clear. It would have worked as humour with few adjustments but ok, ...