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Mars

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Haiku- twilight(Nothing to do with the book)

    Hey, ofir's brother :) I like this. I always find haiku hard because you have to present a pretty image in so few syllables, you know? But I think you ...

    May 28, 2009
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Termination

    Hey angel, welcome to the site! Check out the rules and review a couple of pieces, m'kay? :D So! Wow, this is a gigantic hunk of story, isn't it? You ...

    May 28, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: No More

    Hello, hello, hello! No More Tears fall quick, As melted wax, That hardens On the floor. Nice comparison especially the last two lines, but I don't think of melted wax ...

    May 28, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Garden of Thornless Roses

    Hello! I love this. It's like a feast for me, because I'm reading about this young beautiful couple in this amazing garden and it's being described wonderfully. Seriously, I want ...

    May 28, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: My book Chapter 1

    Hey, welcome to the site! Before I critique this I'll ask you to check out the rules . Please keep a 2:1 ratio of reviews done to works posted; that ...

    May 28, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Hunter

    Hello! Just a warning: I really like this poem. I think it's really good. So that means I'm going to be especially nit-picky and harsh in this review, so it ...

    May 28, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: I Spy the Spy

    Hello! This is a really interesting beginning, Talona and I don't think I've read anything like it before. Partly because it's a diary format - which is fairly rare on ...

    May 27, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Broken Bottles

    Heya! Welcome to the site! Check out the rules. The one I'll mention now is probably the most important as it keeps the site running: keep a 2:1 ratio of ...

    May 27, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Shy

    Oh goodness. This has certainly captured your feeling well, I think. I like the repetition of 'keep walking' because it adds a sort of frantic element to the poem, which ...

    May 27, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: It's Not Fair (Part Five)

    Hi! “Your getting a zero on this quiz and I want you to go see Mr. Granger Should be you're . And she didn’t look at Rex for his unwanted ...

    May 27, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: As The Clock Strikes Twelve [6]

    Hello hello! abstract from the rest of the world, I don't think abstract is the right word to use there because it doesn't make sense - what about distracted from ...

    May 27, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Timeless Solitude.

    Hi Do! *tacklehugglesnugs* Have you heard the song (Nothing But) Flowers by the Talking Heads? That's what this reminded me of. :D If I cannot recall why I've woken up ...

    May 25, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Untitled -part one-

    Hello! I really like this. I love how you introduce Edward - I have a picture of him as a slightly insecure, but good, musician...and we don't know much else ...

    May 25, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Untitled

    Hello! So, yeah. A limerick is a humorous, five-line poem with a rhyme scheme of AABBA - so lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme, and then lines 3 and 4 ...

    May 25, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Monsoon Tune

    Hello! Let me first say that I love this poem. It sounds so breezy and and summery which of course is exactly what it's about, so good job on that. ...

    May 25, 2009


The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
— Mark Twain