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Re: Haiku- twilight(Nothing to do with the book)
Hey, ofir's brother :) I like this. I always find haiku hard because you have to present a pretty image in so few syllables, you know? But I think you ...
May 28, 2009 -
Re: Termination
Hey angel, welcome to the site! Check out the rules and review a couple of pieces, m'kay? :D So! Wow, this is a gigantic hunk of story, isn't it? You ...
May 28, 2009 -
Re: No More
Hello, hello, hello! No More Tears fall quick, As melted wax, That hardens On the floor. Nice comparison especially the last two lines, but I don't think of melted wax ...
May 28, 2009 -
Re: The Garden of Thornless Roses
Hello! I love this. It's like a feast for me, because I'm reading about this young beautiful couple in this amazing garden and it's being described wonderfully. Seriously, I want ...
May 28, 2009 -
Re: My book Chapter 1
Hey, welcome to the site! Before I critique this I'll ask you to check out the rules . Please keep a 2:1 ratio of reviews done to works posted; that ...
May 28, 2009 -
Re: The Hunter
Hello! Just a warning: I really like this poem. I think it's really good. So that means I'm going to be especially nit-picky and harsh in this review, so it ...
May 28, 2009 -
Re: I Spy the Spy
Hello! This is a really interesting beginning, Talona and I don't think I've read anything like it before. Partly because it's a diary format - which is fairly rare on ...
May 27, 2009 -
Re: Broken Bottles
Heya! Welcome to the site! Check out the rules. The one I'll mention now is probably the most important as it keeps the site running: keep a 2:1 ratio of ...
May 27, 2009 -
Re: Shy
Oh goodness. This has certainly captured your feeling well, I think. I like the repetition of 'keep walking' because it adds a sort of frantic element to the poem, which ...
May 27, 2009 -
Re: It's Not Fair (Part Five)
Hi! “Your getting a zero on this quiz and I want you to go see Mr. Granger Should be you're . And she didn’t look at Rex for his unwanted ...
May 27, 2009 -
Re: As The Clock Strikes Twelve [6]
Hello hello! abstract from the rest of the world, I don't think abstract is the right word to use there because it doesn't make sense - what about distracted from ...
May 27, 2009 -
Re: Timeless Solitude.
Hi Do! *tacklehugglesnugs* Have you heard the song (Nothing But) Flowers by the Talking Heads? That's what this reminded me of. :D If I cannot recall why I've woken up ...
May 25, 2009 -
Re: Untitled -part one-
Hello! I really like this. I love how you introduce Edward - I have a picture of him as a slightly insecure, but good, musician...and we don't know much else ...
May 25, 2009 -
Re: Untitled
Hello! So, yeah. A limerick is a humorous, five-line poem with a rhyme scheme of AABBA - so lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme, and then lines 3 and 4 ...
May 25, 2009 -
Re: Monsoon Tune
Hello! Let me first say that I love this poem. It sounds so breezy and and summery which of course is exactly what it's about, so good job on that. ...
May 25, 2009
