MadameLuxestrange

Okay, so I've got a couple of things that I want to point out. Red is grammar, purple is word choice, and blue is my commentary. I looked as the ...

Alright, this was pretty good. Now, this nit-pick all depends on location. If they're in the middle of a park in the city, I don't really think that the mugger ...

Okay, seriously. You used some of the best descriptions that I have read in a long time. They were amazing! Three fingers like merciful saints and sinners. They slid down ...

Haha! This made me laugh. Like, a lot. I am, like SmylinG, a devoted Twitard, and this was seriously fun to read. When someone actually makes a good parody, I ...

Okay, I agree with Jennya... this doesn't sound like schizophrenia that is affecting the MC. If you do decide to make the disease different, it would be good to look ...

Okay, this was pretty good. You used really amazing words that made the story flow well and keeps the reader interested. There were a couple of grammar mistakes, like the ...

Okay, this was really good writing! Most of the issues were with grammar, such as misplaced semicolons or missing commas. At first I was a little confused with what posistion ...

Hey Sol! Okay, this was pretty good. I thought the story was good and the part at the end where you say that his brother and her fell in love ...

I really like your style and the insights that you have in here. You use really awesome descriptions that tug on the reader's emotions and that's really good. However, I ...

Okay, this was pretty good. I liked what you were going for here. Your first paragraph was really strong and vivid, giving the reader a clear picture of the person ...

I really liked this! I agree with Sol about the capitalization problems, but other than that I thought this was really good. Keep writing! Cheers, Luxe :D

Okay, so this was pretty good. I like the idea of the story. There were a couple things that need fixing though. La Oen Ba De Com . These words ...

I really loved this! This was beautiful and heartfelt and every other word that goes with amazing. My only nitpick is that I don't really think he would be telling ...

Hey Sol. Okie-dokie, I really enjoyed your story. It had a great idea going and I love the whole best friends falling for each other. It's great and you really ...

This is beautiful. Simply beautiful. I'm sorry... I'm not very good at writing poetry, so there's not much I can do to help you fix it. Of course, to me ...