Mad

It hasn't got any substance at the moment. Where are the descriptions? It's just a retelling. One of the most important things about poetry is that you need to show ...

I'm not so keen on Maybe you wrote it, maybe you didn’t. It’s this arbitrary nature that separates man from beast, bird from the foul world that taints us from ...

All our secrets lie bare before us. The sheets are a pristine white canvas, ready to cloud with our frustrations. I'd probably cut those first two lines. They're too said. ...

How I longed for the day I would see the sun we always sang about in this soulless hell. With your first stanza, there definitely is something about the flow ...

It's an interesting poem. I really liked the way that it was narrated. The idea put forward first and then the creative way that it is metaphorically described. My main ...

First off, your first stanza. The tone comes across very bitter. Nothing wrong with that. It is probably my favourite stanza. But it doesn't make the next stanza very consistent. ...

Your words are sweet and kind to me, cliché words, so I am told. You don't make your meaning clear here. For example, taking the phrase without "cliche words", it ...

First off, you need punctuation. It is very important. Full stops are like a sudden blackout. Commas, a breath before you jump. They say things implicitly. Plus they make dividing ...

Your first paragraph. Not gripping enough. An apocalyptic story needs to really grab the reader from the start and you don't do that here. Well, why doesn't it grip me ...

Okay two things to start. One, you need a ratio of two reviews to one post. It's a good idea because more people will post on your work if you ...

This doesn't go anywhere. You're talking about how it's crazy that things aren't the way you think they are, I think. But you don't illustrate that very well. You simply ...

Okay, firstly (and something other many others will remind you to do) you need to maintain a 2:1 ratio of critiques to posts. If you do this, people are more ...

I liked this. It was a new slant on something and well described. I feel him surveying me, stalking me, smothering me in his arrogance. In his arrogance doesn't work. ...

Well first off, you need punctuation. Badly. There isn't one full stop in there. It makes the poem weaker. Full stops add finality. E.g. You disgust me. Commas, well they ...

Doesn't get much of a response for me. It's a nice idea and I can see why you would go with such a form and way of expressing it - ...