MHD

No punctuation. Strange, incoherent lines. Halfway through, the poem barely made any sense. In the end, it still didn't make much sense, due to the poor execution and grammar. Try ...

You have a good concept here. Now your only problems are the small amounts of metaphor and imagery. It's all quite literal and solid, not much that the reader has ...

Sorry if I come across as harsh with this critique. Ahem... Your style of poetry is boring, concrete like a brick wall. Poetry is the art of words forming images ...