Lost_in_dreamland

Chapter 1 Sitting alone on a bench in the back of the classroom, I was longing for the sweet, sweet days of April and May. 1 They were absolute paradise ...

Thanks so much Kallilope xD It needs serious work :lol: And I really have to work out how to develop the relationship between Adelaide and Marcel better :lol: Thanks so ...

This is miles better than the first piece I read by you. It's very long... let's see how far I get... First of all. Communism? In Germany? Nah-uh. Germany was ...

Help :lol: anyone have any suggestions on how to improve this piece ?

Thanks for the review Nate ;) Eden's maturity is really important to this novel because of something that happens later, so I'll maybe change her age instead of the way ...

ahahah I know what you mean about small amounts, but personally I like lots, so my brain can frazzle :D What can I say? I'm obsessed :lol:

Thanks so much for the review Sarah ;) and Rascalover, take as long as you want ;) x

I'm going out today but when I get back tonight I shall critique ;) -Kirsten xxx

Hiya there. wrench from me my soul. Ouch. My eyes burn. =) Do you mean "wrench my soul from me"? Thanks ;) I fixed it :) I must stop this ...

Yeah; she's meant to be annoying and shallow :lol: and I know, seriously, I have a problem with writing 'I be' in place of 'I am' it's so annoying :twisted: ...

re-reading it I have absolutely no idea how I managed to put cadaverously in that sentence. :lol: I must have got mixed up with another word :lol:

It is terrible Ducati, I know :lol: and in some parts the word choice is completely off, but that's the way the MC is meant to be, they just put ...

seriously, that's funny :lol: You.Hate.Dickens? :'( Oooh! Oscar Wilde. I've never read anything by him, well besides something that I read when I was in a state of semi consciousness, ...

I think I read a book called Sophie's world by Jostein Gaarder (I think) :lol: Oh! Descartes! I love him. >.< -x

Ok; I'm not going to do all the tab things at the bottom characterization. narrative voice Grammar etc instead I'll just go through it as it comes ;) I have ...