Loose

I'll be honest with you, for a short story, this read much more like an epilogue to something much greater. Not much is really explained, and it feels more like ...

You requested a review beyond grammatical points, and a review beyond grammatical points you shall get. But, I have to say this first: ditch the formatting. The bold is absolutely ...

Okay, in the spirit of review day, I'll be reviewing this short story for Team Orange. It seems like other reviewers have covered the technical stuff like spelling mistakes and ...

When I stumbled across this piece, I skimmed it before I read it. My first thought was "Yes! Wow! Something that looks pretty good!" and I haven't been having too ...

Okay, first thing's first: lose the bold. It's just unpleasant to read. The only reason I can think of where posting an entire piece in bold is ever okay is ...

Oh, my goodness. Okay. Where do I begin? This piece ignores a great deal of the rules of grammar. First, you've failed to properly use capital letters. Remember, the start ...

This was a very short first chapter. The writing itself was quite good on a technical level. As far as I can see, you have a firm grasp on the ...

Oh wow… Okay. There are several points I would like to raise with you, and I’m going to try and do this as concisely as possible. Here we go: 1. ...

I had several concerns as I read through this piece. Granted, you're young, and it's obvious you were influenced by other texts, but I want to make it perfectly clear ...

Also, "story's" means "belonging to the story". "Stories" is the word you want.

You want an honest review? Really? You just don’t want to be coddled? You can ignore this if you want to be told how perfect this is, because that’s not ...

Okay, this is really short. First thing's first, you've skipped a very crucial part of a story. We have a beginning, middle, an end. Here, you've jumped right to the ...

Wow. This is absolutely dripping with cliches. Which irritates me because it does have potential. I'm sorry if I seem rude, but this can be so much better. For a ...

Oh, wow. Intense. Perhaps too intense for a one part story. Might I recommend dividing this into a two or three part story? Also, you're aware, I assume, of the ...

This piece is very short, so there's not a lot to review. Plus, I'm awful at poetry reviews. But I will say this: You need to have some punctuation going ...