Liz

This was fine, you got your ideas across though not necessarily in the most succint way, but generally you dealt with the topic well. The main problem I had with ...

Like niteowl said, it was repetitive and vague. I found the repetition didn't do anything for the poem, because it didn't take on any new meaning as the poem progressed. ...

While the structure isn't the reason it's not poetry, I think you would do better to reconsider it. Think about linebreaks instead of a paragraph, because at the moment the ...

I quite liked this. Your tone is good and the subject is simple but elegant. I too didn't think the last stanza quite belonged. It may have been the word ...

Not too bad. I like your subject matter. It's an interesting idea, but I do think it could be played out in a more captivating way. I didn't feel like ...

Hmm. I think you tacked a tough, worn-out subject well. For the most part it was fresh, which is sometimes the most you can hope for when writing about such ...

Quite nice. You have a nice voice going on and some great images. and her hands are curved like a cup That, for instance, was really effective. I thought the ...

Hm..I liked a lot of the imagery you used here, but I wasn't too sure about the premise and much of it seemed overwritten to me, too vague. If you're ...

You have a strong sense of voice that comes through this poem, but I think that what stops it from reaching full potential is the rhythm of the poem and ...

Not too bad. I like the general metaphor of life & realisation as a kaleidoscope, but as Leja pointed out, a lot of your other ideas were just too predictable. ...

Firstly, I think, as PenguinAttack pointed out, you let yourself down with much of your rhyming scheme. The most obvious example of course is: Gaze upon the sheep of Earth ...

I quite like this. You have a strong voice and the content here really capitalises on this. For the most part the subject was interesting, and uniquely written. You still ...

Good, I enjoyed this! Your rhyme was natural and the flow was good. Also the subject was entertaining and dealt with in an original way. The only flaws I could ...

In parts your rhyming lets you down. For instance A place where scarlet, violet, yellow meet To please their source, the rising sun they mirror. The syntax is really distorted ...

Hm, not too bad. I like your idea, but I do think you need to make it tighter. The rhyming at the moment seems forced in some parts. I am ...