Published March 19, 2008
I started this back in the Autumn of 2006. I finally finished it today!
The Crow
A crow alights atop a roof
And cocks his head to look at me,
Then caws amidst the din of rain:
A scene I think is quite aloof.
But there he is, and doesn't care
For what I think or for the rain,
Standing fast before the wind
As I look on with a puzzled stare.
At first his croaks are harsh and lune,
A song foreboding ill and death.
But then I hear beyond that all
And listen to a solemn tune.
A miserable misfit of boorish lore,
Looking for solace in his dirge;
A creature shunned and damned by all,
A portent of good - nevermore.
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141,435 Literary Works • 674,415 Reviews
Thank-you, thank-you very much! And yes, I believe I do mean portent ^_~
This is really good. I like the allusion to Edgar Allen Poe. I especially love the last two stanzas. Your use of language is really great. Though I think you menat "portent" rather than "portend." You express yourself beautifully.
Thanks! There, I edited it last night. Any new suggestions?
I quite liked this. Your tone is good and the subject is simple but elegant.
I too didn't think the last stanza quite belonged. It may have been the word choice - you lose much of the simplicity you built up in the first part of the poem. Also, the last line and in particular the break before the last word destroyed the rhythm for me.
Hey! Thanks alot. In fact, that was the same problem my writing teacher had with it ^^;; I'm going to have to revise that. Thanks again!
Hello!
I really like this. Maybe it's just because I have a really strong obsession with crows... I don't know. Your rhyme scheme was really nice, and I liked your word choice. There really isn't much to critique really on this except for the last stanza. It didn't match the rhythm of the rest of the poem and sort of through it off. It works by itself but when you put it with the other lines you can tell the pattern difference. That's all though. As far as content, I didn't see any errors.
Happy editing!
~Rieda