Lethero

He looked at them, wearing their pitiful human faces. Ok, I will be openly truthful to you and say that this was a dull piece to read. I couldn't enjoy ...

I woke up in a purple room. My head was foggy and I felt disoriented with time and place for several seconds. Try: I woke up in a purple room, ...

The green, mossy plants rushed by her as out stretched branches whacked her in the face. Try: The green, mossy plants whacked her with out stretched branches as she rushed ...

As she walked around, her vision started to get dizzy. I'm not sure dizzy is the right word for this. better sit down before I fall down’ he thought. Thought ...

“ Will get this guy, Billie. Don’t you worry,” Change the bold word to We'll. Nice story. It sounds creepy. I will read your others and give you a review. ...

The cold feeling that I get when the rain hits my hands and face. Switch hands and face around, it sounds much better that way. Besides that one thing, I ...

James pleaded with his eyes, knowing that this would be the last time he ever set foot in that bar, his haven , again. I'm not sure on 'pleaded with ...

I didn't find any thing that needs changes. It's a good story and I could somewhat understand what was goin' on even though I didn't read the previous chapters. Keep ...

He feels he has walked this path before, Try: He felt as if he had walked this path before, which in turn holds his thin leggings. Try: which holds his ...

Ok.......I admit, this caught my attention when scrolling down the page. The thing is, if you want this as a book they way you put it will not work. The ...

First off, where are the friggen paragraphs!!!! The forums don't take tabs so you need spaces between paragraphs and double spaces between sections. Wrath sat on the edge looking 5,280 ...

she was only a foot shorter [s]then[/s] than him. Than not then. Check over grammar whether it be a Grammar checker or yourself. She had known he wouldn’t [s]though[/s], It ...

Ok, normally I wouldn't read a romance, but since you are a friend and you would do it if I asked, I decided I would. First off Liz sounds like ...

She stood up, slouching over as she stumbled towards the door, still dizzy with sleep, Nova trudged down the stairs, becoming more awake and aware with every thud of her ...

“Yes you will,” Thas says, unperturbed. “It all comes with practise .” It's practice. gold and white, the blue and ruby Try to replace this with something. It gets too ...