Leonheart

i disagree with some of yuor statements. the thing when you comment on what is said during the letters. i don't see what needs correcting. see, in a letter, its ...

thanks a lot Xanthan. personally, i prefer the two lines for the last line of verse 1. it flows more to me. what do you suggest i add in the ...

what would you suggest specifically?

thanks for the in depth critique, although i have to say that its a little hard to read. i know things are a little unclear, that was what i was ...

ok, Tabris, thanks for that, i sort of see where you're coming from. this piece was born as a homework for Drama, we had to do a piece to be ...

i have to agree with Phorcys, is didn't stand out to me as being a great poem. i guess with work, it could be made good, but i'd say try ...

but wouldn't take be so much better as 95%? you've had so many people in this topic say "what was it about?", and that could do with rectifying.

no, doesn't go as well with the line before. previously, it ran into each other as one subject. but now it jumps a little, and its not as good. i'd ...

anyone else want to review? i really want to make this better, so everything is welcome

didn't like it, although i loved the twist at the end. if this was written better, then it would be an excellent poem. i didn't like the rhyming, didn't like ...

a full review like what Adam gave would be very helpful...

thank you Claudette, glad to see that i've created a good piece of poetry in people's eyes, rather than what i normally do anyone else got suggestions?

ok, so i'm going to make my own little changes, and repost here to show comparison between the old and new, i've taken Adam's ideas into account -------------- He’s out ...

thank you for that in depth critique Adam. i'll get around to aditting things sometime, but probably after more people have read the original and given some ideas

thank you Mandax. i do agree with the imagery comment, i do need to work on it. I'm not a poet by trade, I'm a novelist, so i want to ...