Lena.Wooldridge

Blood splattered the white porcelain floor, Great juxtaposition! Although, I did not know floors were ever made of porcelain... staining the glossy tiles a dark and bitter red. This is ...

I'm going to give you my semicolon talk :) Enjoy. Semicolons are beautiful things. They make your writing look more advanced, and in general more pretty, in a complex way. ...

NITPICKS “Yeah ? ” I said as I opened my door. “Your mother says you gave her lip , ” h e said as he sat down. “She just asked ...

Okay, I only skimmed this, as I haven't much time. Anyway, I was confused about the times. In the beginning, you say it began "twelve years ago." Then, at the ...

This was actually pretty good. I have a problem with this sentence here, however: The first is back in Washington State, where I can watch the rain come down and ...

Hola mi Amigo! I'll check this out for you, und welkommen to YWS! :D Alyce stuck her head out the door of her office, making sure that the Texna-Port man ...

I totally agree with Pozoe... For example: One kicked her stomach with a booted foot, not caring if he harmed her Change 'he' to 'it nad the red word with ...

Hey! I'll check this out for you. NITPICKS He recorded the location of the hat shop, and smiled. The comma here is unnecessary. He followed his mark : a young ...

Alright... So please remember to put spaces after every comma and period. I'm in high school. I've been a freshman, and I know what its like to want to be ...

Hey, this is very well written. I did enjoy reading it. However, I do have a few issues with it. 1. Adele is French. Holstein is German. Shouldn't there be ...

I can't believe that nobody has commented on this yet! I must say that I absolutely love your voice in this. It gives the reader a very strong sense of ...

Okay, there are a ton of typos in this. Crescent already addressed most of them. My biggest issue is with the commas. For example: There was always something really wrong ...

NITPICKS ...on bunks similar to the one he realized he was on. This phrase just seems really clunky to me, maybe you should leave out the "he realized" part? you?” ...

This is so short! Put up more and you will get more critique ^^ Wilo l ooked at the strange human standing by the edge of the building, what did ...

Hey, this is great. I just skimmed this, but there were a couple things I noticed: 1) Repetition of certain phrases. For example, you use the word glistening like five ...