Lauren2010

Hey there NaRachel, welcome to YWS! I'm Lauren, and I'll be reviewing for you today. :) First off, slow down! This was so rushed, especially at the beginning. Rushing through ...

Sae, you are obviously worried for no reason! The tone you take in this is really interesting, mysterious even. It gives Jemma more of an air of "queerness". She has ...

Hey there, maegardens! First question: is this the beginning of a larger story? If not, it ends kind of abruptly without really anything happening. If so, then you're on the ...

Hey there Sophia! I really liked this! It was interesting and kept me hooked in. It has me wanting to know what happened before/after this excerpt. I liked how you ...

Hey there offthechainjoe! Welcome to YWS! I'm glad you've come to such a good place to try and work on your writing, and I'm sure everyone else is too! First ...

Hey there forest! I'm here to review this a bit for you. :D This could have some potential, but also needs a bit of work. I feel like it could ...

Wow, this was great. It was one of those times where my parents had to wonder why their daughter was laughing so hard at seemingly nothing. It's very random and ...

Hello Coco, I'm here as requested! (Sorry for the delay) Well let's get right to it then. Plot This story has great potential. You are bordering on cliche a bit, ...

I really liked this. It definitely hooked me in. For a first chapter this is very good and you include just enough details to get the reader through without giving ...

Wow this was really interesting. It has a good idea to it and people don't seem to write elves so much anymore. I really liked it. Starting at the trial ...

Hey there tigershaard! This looks like a very good start to your story. I agree with WD on the fact that you do a lot of telling and not enough ...

This was really clever! Only a few things do I have to say... 1) The beginning is a little cliche high school experience movie with the "Queen Bee" and a ...

Hello! Here as requested! I've read everything up to this point (and this as well of course) and I really like the general plot and such. It's a different kind ...

So many reveiws! Hah, well here I am as requested anyways. My first big nit-pick is that often you missed having spaces after your periods and commas. It just kind ...

Okay, this was good as well! I see that it is different from the prologue (as it is set many years in the future). Have to admit it kind of ...