Okay... I wrote this at night when I couldn't sleep, so I tried writing in a different style. I don't really think it is all that great, but I want to post it here, to see if it could be turned in to something half-decent. Any edits would be nice...
Off to the horizon, a single star gleams, casting its dim light over the clear lake below. A wolf howled, a long, mournful, pained sound, startling a young girl out of her sleep. The child has an odd, daunting appearance, her golden curls resting just above her waist. Her wide, leaf-green eyes give her an almost wild look, disturbing people who have never seen a child like this. A child so strange. Of course, this was just a fantasy, a fantasy that the young child had created. There is nothing strange about young Jemma, even if she looked rather unnatural. She is just an ordinary eight year old child.
At twelve, Jemma's strange looks remain, though she has tried for countless months to make herself look normal, even. Her golden locks now rest at her shoulders, but she still looks wild, daunting, intimidating. Her eyes still hold the gleam of an animal.
At fourteen, Jemma still has not changed at all. Her hair and skin has grown darker, her face matured, but only resulting in an even more queer appearance.
The bell rings in Jemma's ears, she rises in from her desk in almost practiced sync with the other students. Jemma paces slowly over to her friend, Lara, who begins to ramble about something great, maybe some party? Jemma was never invited to anything like that. She was just too queer.
Her mind begins to wander, she weaves images together, forming a story in her mind, exploring lands that that no human has ever been before, sunsets, stars, picturing things that you only ever see in a fairy tale.
"Jemma? Jemma! Snap out of it!"
She heard the voice of Lara in her ears.
"What is it?" Jemma groaned, sounding the slightest bit annoyed.
Okay, I have to go now.
Gosh, that really wasn't great... oh, well. I tried. What a thing for my first story posted...
(By the way, this does change to fantasy later, I just don't have the time to put the rest that I have in- it is in my notebook, so I have to type it out. I really have to start using the computer to begin with...) 
See you later...
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
i really enjoyed reading and thought that it sounded like a story that could be really good.
Thank you! Usually I am worried when I post my first piece on a new website- especially one that I wrote at midnight...
Thanks for the review!
Sae, you are obviously worried for no reason! The tone you take in this is really interesting, mysterious even. It gives Jemma more of an air of "queerness". She has something more about her, and now the reader just has to find out! Do post more, this could evolve into something very good.
A few little things...
Sound? Where did it come from? Clarify.
You progress from Jemma being eight, to twelve, to fourteen. This is okay, but you use the same tense for both parts. Anything before her current age should probably be in the past tense, since it was in the past.
This is when you should be in the present tense. It signifies that this is the age she is now, and the age she will be for the rest of the story.
Send a PM my way when more of this is up, and I'll be happy to look at it. I'm really interested to see where this goes.
Keep Writing!
-Lauren
Wow... Thanks!
I think it's a great start to a story. The description of the girl really creates an image in your head. I just want to know what happens next.