Who is my Daughter?

This is going to be a story from two person's views.The first view is TOM

TOM

The wind rustled through her hair as her high heels clanged against the metal stairs high up to the rocket. I saw tears glistening in her eyes, but she still tried to smile. I tried to be strong and not cry too, but I wasn't. I felt hot water filling the rims of my eyes, but I still tried to smile, too. She slowly walked up to me. The rest of the crew were saying good-bye to their loved ones, too. She was right there, her beautiful eyes staring at me, it sparkling with drops of water. She held her soft palm to my face, and then kissed my lips. It was a wonderful kiss, but I couldn't stay focused on it. I let my mind wonder and worry. I wished I hadn't. That was the last time I'd ever see her for a long time. Maybe even forever, if something went wrong. Please, don't let something go wrong, I pleaded to no one in general.

When we let go and opened our eyes, she said,"How long did you say it would be?"

"It depends, but if all goes as expected," I closed my eyes and sucked in some air, "A little over sixteen years."

I saw another tear roll down her cheek.

"I guess it's a little late to tell you to quit," My wife said.

"I'm so sorry Sally," I shook my head in shame, "I know this isn't going to be good for you, or the baby."

As I said this, I looked at her stomach, and held my hand to it.

"Tom," Sally moaned, "What kind of husband leaves their pregnant wife alone and then goes to Jupiter?"

"A very, very bad one." I said "Just please remember I was in training before we even met. I didn't think I'd meet a woman. I didn't think I'd leave her pregnant for Jupiter. I wanted to quit when I met you. It's just ... complicated. Very complicated. I'd already signed the contracts. I'd already done a lot of things. I'm kind of trapped."

"Why can't you leave, right now? We'll move. Nobody will find us." She begged.

"You know I want to do that. But I can't. You know that if I leave, the whole mission will be canceled. And if they do go, there will be major problems." I said gently.

"Tell them to piss off!" My wife said bursting in rage through the tears.

"Oh, they'll be so happy then," I replied sarcasticly.

I hugged her, a bit awkwardly with my large, white space suit on. But I didn't want to let go. But I also wanted to go into space. Not as much as I wanted to stay with Sally, but a lot...

"I love you," I whispered in her ear, and I meant it.

"I love you, too," she whispered sadly, slightly gasping through tears.

"Then can you promise me that you won't give up on me, you won't leave me?" I asked hopefully.

"I'll tr- yes... OK." She said, starting to push back from the hug and cry again.

I smiled "Good. Thank you... I love you, Sally."

And I kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you, too." She replied.

Sally went down the metal stairs again, not taking her eyes off of me. Bursts of wind would whip through my short hair. How could such a beautiful day be so sad? The tower was so high up, so right now being me with a fear of heights wasn't good. I looked at Sally again instead of below me. I looked at her, and in the one look I tried to tell her all the things I forgot to tell her. That I was sorry. So, so sorry. I wanted to beg her to stay with me. I wanted to tell her that I would try to help her take care of our baby no matter how far away I was. And with this I burst into tears even more, realizing I couldn't be there to hold her hand while she gave birth. Couldn't be there to teach my baby so many new things. Not be able to see and hear my child say its first word. Not be there for anything. I think Sally heard some of my mental conversation to her, because she started silently crying as if she knew those moments were to come.

I quickly ran into the cockpit before I decided to turn back. I strapped in with everyone else after Sally was out of sight. I was scared, terrified, and my heart was hammering into my ears. I didn't want to go, I wanted to leave now, it was like a rollercoaster right before the huge drop. The part where you get nervous and full of regret, except this one didn't last a few seconds, it lasted for years. I could have screamed, and I swore I was about to when after quite a while passed by, the team heard the countdown.

Then...

...10!...9!...8!...7!...6!...5!...4!...3!...2!...1!

We're off, the noise of the rocket blasting in my ears. I should've never left.

copyright 2010 March 24, 2010 maegardens