LauraMae

This is very interesting, although I agree with Noelle that it reads more like a prologue than Chapter One, as a. it reads like a history of this town/the world ...

I don't even care what you say, this is amazing. So ssh, Daniel. I wandered (Great, makes you think lonely, desolate etc.) into the cold breeze like a soldier The ...

Um, wow. That was really captivating. A lot happened in such a short period, I'm thinking maybe you could lengthen it a little, because everything happens so fast I was ...

I clicked on this story purely because the title attracted me. My Dad died a couple years ago and I thought I'd check this out, because I know what it ...

Yes! Cantankerous old man, I love it :) I love the wryness of this piece, delicately humorous and written very well. Just a couple of pointers on this one, there ...

I have to say I am incredibly confused by this lol. I get the gist of it, but the lack of punctuation makes it confusing as to where to take ...

I really like this, it's very compelling and I found myself reading on because the narrative raises many questions. That is naturally a positive, as it keeps reader's attention, which ...

This is real decent :) I like how you start and end on the same thing, black and white, because often poetry deviates from its origin and ends up someplace ...

I agree somewhat with what Veritas and hopeispeace said, because they are right to an extent. However, I did quite like this actually. As was written in the poem, Tariq ...