T R A G E D Y

I wandered into the cold breeze like a soldier period
The thought of forgetting everything I had encountered, Split the line here.
just for a second, brought a tear to my eye
I pondered my regretscomma It would sound better if you split the line again, but it is short.
and was greeted with an unbearable agonyperiod
Trembling with the vicious wind, Split
I started to understand
All that I am, or once wascomma
Was gone
My hopes, my dreams...
E v e r y t h i n g
I thought back to my youthful dayscomma, Split
and felt the past come flooding back
I was something back then, I had a purpose
Now all I want to do is end this abomination
Only one word can describe my life comma
T R A G E D Y.

For the poem I like it. It was simple, and full of feeling. I did split the line, because some were to long which messed up the rhythm. Anyway Good job!

PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

-Boo

Hello.
Laura is right that your poem is great and speaks for itself. However, that does not mean you don't need to proofread. You should always capitalize "I". You didn't five times. Secondly, you should use punctuation at the end of your lines of poetry. I think there are exceptions to that, but the punctuations help to separate your thoughts. Without any commas it reads like this, I wandered into the cold breeze like a soldier The thought of forgetting everything i had encountered, just for a second, brought a tear to my eye I pondered my regrets and was greeted with an unbearable agony. A comma helps the reader know when to pause.

My hopes, my dreams...
E v e r y t h i n g

I also love this. I don't love that there are spaces between each letter, but rather the emphasis on everything, that it's not just your hopes or dreams that have gone.

Now all i want to do is end this abomination
Only one word can describe my life
T R A G E D Y.

Abomination and tragedy are very strong word choices, but they work well here. I agree with Laura that a colon ) should go after the second line.

It's an interesting poem. It's making me sit here and think. That's what good poetry does.

McMourning

I don't even care what you say, this is amazing. So ssh, Daniel.

I wandered (Great, makes you think lonely, desolate etc.) into the cold breeze like a soldier
The thought of forgetting everything I had encountered, just for a second, brought a tear to my eye
I pondered my regrets and was greeted with an unbearable agony
Trembling (Yes, yes, yes!) with the vicious wind, (Excellent word choice, makes it seem more like a battle, relates to 'soldier' at the beginning) I started to understand
All that I am, or once was
Was gone. I think if you put a full stop here it really highlights the statement, makes it very central to the poem, as its kind of the main theme)
My hopes, my dreams...
E v e r y t h i n g (Love this, saw this in another poem and although it stands out, it stands out positively, 'everything' is 'everything', a culmination of all the feelings, thoughts etc. which are what the poem is about, so making it stand out is excellent)
I thought back to my youthful days and felt the past come flooding back (This sentence seems a bit jarring because of the 'and', try it as 'I thought back to my youthful days, felt the past come flooding back')
I was something back then, I had a purpose
Now all I want to do is end this abomination
Only one word can describe my life, (I think you need either , or : or even ... here, to make it flow onto the last line better)
T R A G E D Y. (Again, love the spacing of the word. Great ending)

This is amazing! Please post more