Kylan

Ooh. By far, the best chapter yet. I enjoyed this very much. The dialogue is probably what made it for me. Very real, very funny, very idiosyncratic. Reading all these ...

So I'm getting the impression that Alex somehow stopped the tornado by screaming? If this is true, it could be expanded on. Anyway, this is an interesting start. You are ...

I come. :wink: Anyway. A brilliant installment. Faulkener or not, your writing style is beautiful. Very down to earth and true to life. I enjoyed the symbolism of the bleached ...

Couldn't resist. Anything with an ominous bible quote at the beginning screams to be read. This was very good, Jared. JFW mentioned that this wasn't your usual bill of fare ...

thestarseye - Rhyming poetry is difficult to write. It's not necessarily hard to come up with words that rhyme, but rather, it's difficult to produce something that's not laughable. This ...

Eimear - You have something good here. You took a common, well-used idea and twisted it into something relatively unique. The language was good, the imagery was good, and overall, ...

yoha_ahoy - You've taken a common theme and expounded on it with average language. There are some parts I enjoy -- stanza three being particularly fun to read -- but ...

Well, hello there! And welcome to YWS. This has some promise. I especially enjoyed the dialogue you tossed around the group near the end of the chapter. Very professional sounding, ...

Hey Suz! I haven't read anything of yours since your Lit Journal piece. So I decided that it was time to get some good literature into my system. I wasn't ...

Hey there XxxDo! You have a good start here. you managed not to give too much information away, and simultaneously kept me interested. Kudos. One of my only complaints is ...

Hey there, Tag! 1.) Does it catch your attention? To an extent. There's a possibility that I would have enjoyed this more, had the writing been more clear and succinct. ...

Hey there CK! I don't believe I've ever critted anything of yours. Anyway, as someone else said, this would probably be best rewritten as lyrics. You've got this partial rhyming ...

Hey there Marie! Welcome to YWS. You have some good stuff here. I especially enjoyed the imagery and the use of symbolism to explain something bigger and more consequential than ...

Unfortunately, I couldn't access your link from the chatroom, so I'm just going to assume that your most recent poem is the one you wanted me to review. Anyway, you ...

This is extremely sad and radiates some obvious emotion. You have my greatest sympathies. However, as a piece of literature, this suffers. A diary is a diary; rarely entertaining enough ...