KittyCat99

I found the entire thing a little strange. There was no back story so I think a little explaining might just make the reader understand everything a little more. Also, ...

This was absolutely amazing! There were just a few things... For a start, you started by calling Sloth a he and then changed to it and then went back to ...

It was really good but I think in this part: "I quickly host my backpack up onto my shoulder..." I'm wondering if you maybe meant hoist? However, a quick proof ...

Oh my goodness! This story is just...I am speechless. I can't believe how much passion you put into this story! I find it difficult to grasp that you're so young! ...

"Enormous green eyes peered out from her intricately built face; a tiny nose that turned up at the end jabbed out from her face." For me the double use of ...

Wow. It's possibly the only thing I can say. I just have one tiny criticism (sorry :/ ). You said her voice was a 'dry whisper of bones'. I find ...

I like the way that the first and last paragraphs were the same, its a good technique to use and I, personally, love it. However, I did find the whole ...

It was very good. I love the way it started so normally, and then the stalker person came along. Well, then the stalker person was introduced, because obviously they were ...