Kim

this is great bear, i really like how payton has taken landon under his wing. it makes your story more personable. in your last sentence is a spelling error, "minute". ...

this is so great bear. i never know where you are taking me when i read. i love this. i only found one thing that did not sound right. "Now, ...

i found this interesting, i like the discription you use, but i also like the metaphors. it was short , but you got your point out there, i really liked ...

you did an awesome job. i loved the discription. normally to much isnt good, but in your case, it turned out beautiful. i personally dont like winter, ( i live ...

wow, this is going to be a good story. i was just going to comment on " her spin", that confused me lol. but i reread your story twice and ...

this is awesome, you make the world seem like a very exciting place to be. with out any boundries but the ones you place on yourself. the discription shows your ...

this made me laugh, it was so much fun to read. i personally liked the colors, it is a poem for children, and the colors showed that. i love where ...

you discribed each word well, it is almost scary to think if it is true. the only thing i found wrong was the format. the bold word followed by the ...

honestly this was hard to read. starting it out with the word " And" confused me. the content was excellent, i think it just needs to be formatted differently. breaking ...

the first paragraph confused me some. this was very dark, and emotionally hard to read. although you did a great job writing it. the discription was very vivid. gruesome. although ...

i agree with the others, other then the puncuation, this is very good. it sounds like you hide alot from those around you. people are never good with reading between ...

i dont see anything wrong here at all. i could tell you were writing with emotion. how can that be wrong? it showed severe deep pain and abuse. i think ...

this hit me hard. i know there were some small errors, but the meaning , i couldnt even imanginge going thru that. if you were wanting tears, you got them. ...

you did it again bear. it is great. i did notice this one seemed more rushed also . the content was great, and you have kept the sense of humour. ...

oh man, i just wrote a long comment, and it didnt go through. gah bummer. ok well here it goes again. lol ROFL, i loved how you started this out, ...