Kibble

Firstly, wow! This is a really perceptive and amazing story -- it has a lot of great imagery and turns of phrase. I'm not sure I fully understood the point ...

Hi GoaGreena! I love your story. I might go along and critique it bit by bit, as that's usually how I critique things. Have you ever noticed how black and ...

I've kind of wondered this before. There's actually a TV Tropes about it, called Bottomless Bladder or something -- warning, seriously addictive website). As they point out, it's actually even ...

I like this story and the contrast between the tactics of the two players. I get the feeling that she is young and intellectual, but he is older and wiser? ...

Interesting story sarebear! I'm going to make some comments, but you don't have to take notice of all of them, as my personal opinion tends to lean heavily in the ...

I read to the end. It's really, really good. I didn't quite understand what was happening in the final part though; I had to reread some sentences a few times. ...

Great poem, and I love the final line. It really captures that morning feeling, which people dislike, but is actually only a bad feeling because we're dreading leaving the house. ...

Wonderfully terrible, Night. Nah, seriously, it's cute. :) Actually, just to add, the fact that you were writing voluntarily at that age is a sign of a true writer. :)

Great story, I like the character. Very interesting. :) “ I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. ” Intriguing start! The ...

Interesting start! I like the dog being the main character. Very intriguing. A lone dog trotted down a back alley of New York City. I'm not sure about mentioning New ...

I like this story, somehow (always love stuff about real-life people). It's very good, particularly where you describe what she sees out the window - it builds a real sense ...

Very exciting start, again, there isn't much there to analyse yet so keep writing and posting. I think the part from "I didn't scream ... deep dark blue ocean reached ...

This is my first crit so I'm a bit nervous... I like this story, the place name is great and I love your description of Mars. Most of the comments ...