Puppy, Kitten, and City.-preface

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

A lone dog trotted down a back alley of New York City. The dog’s fur was rough and mangled with all different kinds of dirt, mud,and bugs. The dog seemed to be searching for something along the dank and dirty sidewalk.

Suddenly, there was a rustling behind a pile of leaves. The dog’s eyes widened, and unlike most normal dogs, this little dog started to back up, obviously scared. He kept his eyes trained on the rustling pile of leaves, ready to bolt at last minute.

Out of the leaves, came a tiny kitten, matted and shriveled. The dog threw back his head, scoffing.

The dog continued on, but stopped when he heard a small and desperate noise.

“Mew,” the kitten cried. “Mew.” The kitten shot her huge vulnerable eyes at the dog. “Mew?”

The dog gave her sympathetic look, and then raced toward the kitten with new energy. He didn't need a tag-along.

“MEOOOOOW!”

Well this is interesting. More than anything else, the title here really drew me in quite quickly because it is not the sort of thing you run into too often and well I was very curious to know what exactly it was going to mean here. What I definitely was not expecting to see that this title is being taken kind of literally here at least on first glance and well that is quite something.

I have seen plenty of stories with talking animals before or animals being all sorts of friends, but this one seems very unique in how it looks like we've got the two animals speaking the language that said animals normally speak instead of anything else. Now that makes things a lot more intriguing that I expected it to turn out.

Well I will say I am very pleasantly surprised by where this is going. Both these characters seem like they have some solid backstories behind them instead of just the fact that its a puppy and a kitten and I am loving the direction that this is trying to take here. I do find myself wanting to know more about what will happen in this story here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Interesting start! I like the dog being the main character. Very intriguing.

A lone dog trotted down a back alley of New York City.

I'm not sure about mentioning New York City yet. Perhaps there would be a better way to introduce the dog without cutting straight to specific setting.

The dog seemed to be searching for something along the dank and dirty sidewalk.

Because of Show Don't Tell, perhaps it would be better to say something like, "The dog turned his head from side to side, sniffing under piles of rubbish", to suggest searching without explicitly saying it.

Suddenly, there was a rustling behind a pile of leaves. The dog’s eyes widened, and unlike most normal dogs, this little dog started to back up, obviously scared. He kept his eyes trained on the rustling pile of leaves, ready to bolt at last minute.

Good. "This little dog" is a bit awkward, perhaps "he" would be sufficient (as there's only one character at this stage, that wouldn't cause confusion).

Out of the leaves, came a tiny kitten, matted and shriveled.

I don't think you need a comma after "out of the leaves", but I could be wrong.

The dog started to continue searching for competition, but stopped when he heard a small and desperate noise.

"Started to continue" sounds a bit awkward, possibly "continued" would work alone.

The dog gave her a moment’s pity, and then forged on.

Again, I'd Show Don't Tell the pity, perhaps have him look in her direction, hang his head, hesitate for a moment before moving on.

He didn't need a tag-along.

Interesting ending; makes the reader wonder exactly what a dog would be doing that he "wouldn't need a tag-along".

Lol. Very interesting.

The dog’s fur was rough and mangled with all different kinds of dirt, mud, bugs.

Add an 'and' after mud.

Was this what I was afraid of? I deserve better challengers, he thought.

Put the thought in quotes or at least put in italics. I didn't know it was a thought until I reread it and saw the 'he thought'.

Okay, this was interesting. There isn't much to say since it was so short. The descriptions were well done...And....That's it, I guess.

I'm wondering what will happen next.

Nariel