KelseySutton

Interesting! There was one aspect of this piece, though, that bothered me. Riley acts far too human. And I understand that animals are sensitive to our moods and they have ...

I really enjoyed reading this. The language is unique and beautiful. A few observations, though. First about your sentence structure; it's odd. Sometimes the thoughts weren't... connected to each othe

Interesting. I haven't read a piece in a long time where the main character is sick. I like the element it adds to your story. On to nitpicks. Maya carefully ...

Hi there, Tenyo. First off, I really like Alexandria as a narrator. She's got attitude and she knows who she is, which is refreshing. As for the constructive part of ...

I like the tone you've set, and it's a good start to Saskia's story. That said, watch the use of the word so , and your punctuation could use some ...

This is an awesome piece of writing. And I don't usually use the word awesome because it makes me feel like a hippie or something, but it's the first word ...

Besides a few punctuation errors, I didn't find any nitpicks. Couple things, though. Thoughts are generally in Italics, and the fact that the girl had trouble checking into a hotel ...

I love the dialogue in this piece, and the descriptions were rich. As far as improvement goes, see nitpicks below. There aren't many because you have some great writing here. ...

To begin with the positive, I like how you dived right into the story. There were no dull preliminaries and your main character's pain is poignant. However - and I ...

This is some solid writing. While I think it would go easier on the eyes if the paragraphs were split up, you have good description and an intriguing start. Perhaps ...

I haven't looked at the other chapters for this, but it seemed more of a prologue to me than a chapter, just because of its length and tone. Though I ...

You've created a great atmosphere here. One thing I would like to see changed, though, is which character is saying what. In your piece we're only introduced to Gib specifically. ...

Hi, CoolPerson321. First off, I like how your story moves along at a steady pace. And there is definitely a life to your writing. There is one piece of advice ...