Kamas

Hi there FazoliMoli123, I'll be your reviewer for the moment. First things first, grammar. Imagine yourself an editor, working on piece #2346 of the day. Seeing a lack of capitalized ...

Very well Helpful, my friend. I shall not be merciful considering my birthday is in April. ;) Now this is an interesting idea, it has yet to bear fruit though. ...

Hi Matt, here as asked. My first suggestion would be to let the reader figure out what message you've left for them in this poem. The idea is not buried ...

Hey Kylan. Here I am. Now this is good, better then most things lurking in these forums but this isn't your best by far. The whole thing is just long ...

So, to drop a note. You don't have to take what I say into full account considering my lack of expertize in this. But here we go: #1. You said ...

Hi Sarah. Welcome to YWS. My suggestion to you before I even consider to review this is proper grammar. i want to tel i am thinkin about u Really? To ...

Hi Cyn, here as promised. First things first, dividing this into stanza would really help rather then writing in a prose format. First of all easier to read, secondly more ...

Hi Lind, just going to drop a note before I crawl to bed. The repetitive 'ing' rhyme is boring and not very creative. Do you realize how much you limit ...

Hi Kylan, here as promised. My lack of experience with prose makes me quite useless but I can say this was wonderful. I love how it's all woven together so ...

Hi Sugar, Well I agree with Lily that you have a refreshing vocabulary. But I also agree that this poem has no meaning whatsoever. It's lines wrapped around nothing but ...

Hi Traveller, Well this poem here seems to be a bundle of tedious repetition and words you appear to have looked up in the dictionary. And really using large words ...

Very interesting... I liked it a lot! I don't have much to say... but I do hope you write a lot. :) Just so you know, this poem is about ...

Hi Trace. Well, bluntly put, this was cliche. Starts off, perfect scenery, oh, I'm hopelessly in love. Then scene change, I love you forever but I have to leave you. ...

Hi Lily! I think the one big problem here is that you are telling us, not showing us. You're just reciting what happened like a grocery list. And really it ...

Hi Mrs. Chaos. Well, as stated before. Proof reading would do your work a lot of good. It made it hard to read, and quite painful for my grammar loving ...