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Re: Bearer of the Rubyarc; renamed Rising of the Moon- Chapter 1
Hey! haven't seen you around much. Welcome to YWS! Im not that good at grammar, so i'll just do the best I can. The spacing is wonderful. He was MVP ...
Jun 13, 2008 -
Re: Red Rain Chapter 1 cont.
Ok, awesome, loved it. This just keeps on reminding me of Red Dawn. Im hooked. I hope you finish this unlike all of the other attempted novels on this site. ...
Jun 12, 2008 -
Re: Red Rain Prologue
I definetly like this opposed to the other one. Great hooker, I would pick it up and keep reading also. Only a few things... Instead of using Bang! all the ...
Jun 12, 2008 -
Re: A Summer To Remember-- Prologue
Very well writen. Great vocab. I like the way everybody is gathering to tell the story right. I think it would make a great movie if you're planning to finish. ...
Mar 31, 2008 -
Re: One to Midnight
I think it reflects the teen nature very accurately. :) I think you should also space the paragraph and break it up some. it was hard to read mainly because ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Capital Punishment 1/2
Man, i feel like i have missed alot. I noticed that i had to read one or two sentances twice to completely get them. I love it. im going to ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Assassin story!
hm, i like the thing where the dude is like the godfather, in a way. Good i like the idea of a femail assassin, reminds me of electra. The only ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Red Rain
Lol, scary story. but is this after or before the bombs? if it was after, I doubt any one would bother to land because of all the radioactive material. It ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Snake's Eyes
O......M......G AWESOME! freaking GREAT! yea saint got like all of the mis-happens so won't bother. Have you thought of turning this into a script and sending it to a Movie ...
Feb 27, 2008 -
Re: Nevermind
nvm that, i read it over and caught some stuff. what does the empire exactly look like? like a normal suburban town? or something different? what time period? I'm guessing ...
Feb 27, 2008 -
Re: The Elements
very nice peice of art here, can't wait for other peices from you, keep writing, i only say some grammar issues, but i expect you see them too. :D good ...
Jan 12, 2008 -
Re: deleted
Very nice, i thought that the font was a little hard to read, and that you just dived right into the action withought explaining who was acually doing anything. couldn't ...
Jan 12, 2008
