Kale

they threw their bodies in a dirt-like trench, You really need to be more careful with your spelling. Three spelling mistakes in a single line does not leave a good ...

I’m not in the mood to mention to her my encounter Murtagh or my thoughts about it. This sentence doesn't make sense. I believe you're missing a "with" after "encounter". ...

Hello there. The first thing I noticed was that this isn't quite a sestina. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I was under the impression that the words repeated at ...

with only memories left behind you’ll ride along the milky way Milky Way should be capitalized since it's a named location, like a country or a city. and only stars ...

I agree with Jasmine Hart -- this poem felt disjointed and the repetition was more boring than anything. The periods at the end of every line had a lot to ...

I lit five candles that stretched in a full 360 degrees around me and crossed my legs in the meditating posture This sentence just read awkwardly to me. I think ...

This was an interesting story, and as short as it was, I enjoyed it. I especially liked how you incorporated the magic -- it was obvious that it was unusual ...

Have you ever been in a car and looked out the window, everything outside is a blur and you can’t really focus on one thing and yet the colours washing ...

Car keys and other items lay scattered around. Instructions stuck on the fridge. Tense shift. The rest of the story is in present tense, so it should be "lie". Also, ...

Stylistically, I think you rely too much on adjectives and adverbs. Instead, if you used stronger, more precise words, your writing would be stronger. You also tend to use less ...

Hello there. You might remember me from chat. I saw that you had only one review on this, so I decided to fix that. :D I face the scorn of ...

...compelling, hateful, and manipulative villains ever created in a tale. His manipulation of people and events , leads to the downfall of many. I suggest you find a synonym for ...

Like Lauren, I think using "fuck" in the narration was a bit much. Like Lauren, though, this is just how I feel about the matter. Still, I find it quite ...

7; 21; 13; 42; 2 These semicolons should all be commas. This was a nice, short piece. A bit simplistic, perhaps, but it wasn't bad. The first and second paragraphs ...

momentarily stopped bouncing "Why(comma) Wolfe, I do Wolf, Cole, and Crispin: these names really don't make sense together. Cole and Crispin I can see working, but Wolf is so completely ...