Andy Warhol

I agree with Jasmine Hart -- this poem felt disjointed and the repetition was more boring than anything. The periods at the end of every line had a lot to do with the disjointedness, but you also threw a lot of ideas at us in every stanza without showing how they were relevant and how they tied in to one another. As such, it's not really clear what the main idea behind the poem was.

The repetition felt monotonous because this poem was so short and it was repeated so many times. In addition, there was no clear reason why those two lines were repeated at the start of each stanza, nor was their an alternative interpretation for each repetition because the ideas were so disjointed. Basically, each repetition of those two lines meant the exact same thing as all its other iterations, and it was boring.

I suggest expanding on this poem a bit to show how all the ideas you presented tie into Andy Warhol and each other. That way, if you decide to keep the repetition, there would be more room to add dimensions of meaning to each iteration.

Hi,

I thought the second stanza worked very well in terms of sound.

This felt a bit disjointed to me. The repetition got monotonous and I don't think it really added much. I'd cut some of the full-stops and connect phrases into sentences.

I'd also try a draft looking at snatches of imagery rather than buzz words because that may be more effective, especially as Warhol was a visual artist himself..

Hope this helps,

Jas